Planning a wedding can be quite a stressful task. There’s the location, the attire, the caterers, and a million other decisions big and small that can make your big day overwhelming. And even after all of the official planning is done, there is still the matter of vows. Writing your own wedding vows is no easy task (major props if you choose to!), As it’s hard to sum up your entire relationship in a few short paragraphs. So much love, so little time to say whatever you want.
If you are stressed out about how to write the perfect wedding vows, take a deep breath. According to the wedding planner Jesse Reing of the Events by Jesse, the most important thing is to be sincere. “The way of doing [your vows] unique to yourselves is making them in a way that is personal and special to you as a couple, ”Reing told POPSUGAR.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, read on: we’ve reached out to wedding professionals to pull together the 411s on Writing Your Own Wedding Vows. Relax, grab a pen and paper and get to work!
How to write the wedding vows?
The advice to focus on sincerity in your vows is a good place to start, but if you are unsure of how to translate your sincere feelings into real vows, you don’t need to stress. These simple tips will help you make sure your wishes are genuine, memorable, and express all the love you have for your partner. Here are some things you should focus on when preparing your vows:
Keep it short and sweet.
According to wedding and celebrity event planner David Tutera, lasting three to four minutes is the “sweet spot” for wedding vows. Otherwise, you risk losing people’s attention in the middle of your wedding ceremony. “If you find it difficult to shorten your vows after writing them, I recommend that you save some to share with your partner after the ceremony,” he told POPSUGAR. This sweet idea allows you to publicly express your feelings during the ceremony as well as have a private and intimate time to share your love when the two of you are just the two of you.
Write from the heart.
When writing your vows, try not to overthink things; Instead, focus on showing your love and dedication to your partner. “Now is not the time to be careful or to think too much,” said Laura Maddox of Famous magnolia. After all, Maddox said, “These greetings are meant to express your love and devotion to one another.”
Remember to include the actual vows.
It turns out that not including the actual vows in your wedding vows is a pretty common mistake, according to Katelyn Peterson of Wedding Words, a wedding vows and speech writing service. That being said, be sure to include three to six specific promises in your vows. Peterson told POPSUGAR that without them “your wishes turn into a love letter” – and yes, there is a clear distinction between the two!
Keep it light.
You don’t have to be too formal with your wedding vows. Rather, think of them as an extension of your personality. “The tone of writing should reflect your own voice,” Peterson told POPSUGAR. Think of it this way: if you have a cheerful and humorous personality, you’ll want to showcase it while also showcasing the sweetness and sentimentality of your vows.
It is practice makes perfect!
Congratulations: you have officially written your wishes! Now, it’s time to get ready before the big day. According to Tutera, the old adage that practice makes perfect is absolutely true with wedding vows. This includes reading your wedding vows aloud to yourself, a trusted family member, friend or loved one. According to Tutera, practicing your vows out loud can help boost your self-confidence before the wedding ceremony, as you will feel more comfortable and secure in what you are trying to convey.
Examples of wedding vows
Still feeling stuck? Read on for a step-by-step overview, with examples, for more inspiration.
Think back to the beginning of your relationship.
“A great way to start your vows is to return to a pivotal moment in your relationship,” Peterson said. Once you’ve narrowed it down to a specific time, describe it in a few sentences before you tie it back to your wedding day – we love a full moment! Consider the following example courtesy of Peterson:
“How could I have known that the beautiful woman I asked to borrow a number two pencil from during a SAT preparation class would be the same woman I would one day ask to be my wife? am grateful you said yes to all of those years ago … and i am grateful you say yes forever with me now. “
Sprinkle in some details.
Now that you have the basics, it’s time to add some details. Include specific reasons – anecdotes are welcome too! – that you appreciate and admire your partner and your relationship.
“Your kindness and selflessness are evident every morning when you wake up very early to make breakfast and coffee for me without even asking.”
“I admire how much you value communication, so much so that you keep chatting when I’m trying to sleep.”
List your wishes.
Remember, wedding vows require actual vows. Per Peterson, try to aim for three to six of them. Instead of starting with “I pledge to…”, you can also start with “I promise to…”.
“I promise to always kiss you good morning and good night.”
“I promise to stand by your side through thick and thin.”
Talk about your hopes and dreams for the future.
This part will ask you to think about your wishes for the future and share them out loud.
“The world is ours, and I can’t wait to experience it all together.”
“I can’t wait to grow old with you.”
“I am so excited to have a family with you.”
End with a bang.
End your wedding vows with a romantic last line that displays your love and commitment to your partner.
“Until death do us part.”
“Forever and ever.”
“I love you more and more every day and I will continue to do so forever.”